Generally, on mother's day, we would be spending the day together as a family, having lunch at a restaurant or enjoying a home-cooked meal in celebration of everything that you do for us. There would definitely be a whole lot of laughter, wine, chocolates and flowers. Today, however, is a different kind of mother's day. It's a sadder kind of mother's day. This pandemic has been difficult, mostly because it has placed a screen between you and us. It has, however, also made me realise how thankful I am for having you and what you mean to me. Due to the exceptional times that we are currently living in, I am unable to see you or give you a hug. So, this virtual hug will just have to do.
Mom, you are truly a formidable force!
Coffee-o-holic, laugh-o-holic and boss-o-holic.
Mom, you are the best mom in the entire world and we honestly could not have asked for better. You are such a blessing. You have been the most incredible mom, wife, best friend, Christian, human being and one of the best judges in South Africa (but that’s just my unbiased opinion).
You always make us feel so loved and cared for. We know that you spend so much time, energy and resources supporting and helping us, often without us even realising it. You show us on a daily basis so many acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. So, from the deepest corners of our hearts, we thank you. You have always been there for us, no matter what. Growing up, we always had the security of knowing that you would protect us, encourage us and catch us when we fall. You truly are a wonder woman- you have shown us the strength, wisdom and beauty that lies within a woman of God. You have always made us believe that we can do anything if we set our minds to it. You have always encouraged us to utilise our talents and gifts to the best of our abilities. You have been our number one cheerleader. You are someone to whom we can always go for advice or just be a shoulder to cry on. We have been truly blessed to grow up in a family where we continuously laugh, sometimes with each other and sometimes at each other, but always from a good place. You never missed a netball or rugby game. You never missed an exam or test. You know our hearts through and through. You have raised us to be independent, kind, loyal, strong people who often place others before ourselves. We know it was no easy task raising us- we were definitely a handful and we can still at times be a bit of a challenge. As you always say: you have worked for your wrinkles. We wouldn’t be the people we are today or have achieved everything we have to date if it wasn’t for you mom. You are our rock and inspiration.
You have taught us so much about life. You have shown me what an outstanding wife, career woman and mother looks like and how to balance the important things in your life. You always made it seem so effortless to be a working mother, even though I know that it is challenging. You have shown us how to build a beautiful, friendly, comfortable home. You are always preparing us for life even if it is in small ways like showing us where to buy the best quality couches, which plants grow best in shade and which artists to look out for. You introduced us to God and taught us that God will always provide for you, you just need to trust Him and continue to pray. You have always taught us to work extremely hard and grab every opportunity that we are given. You have shown us to pick your battles (something that I still battle with). You entered the legal profession when women were deemed unsuitable for the legal fraternity. Instead of fighting your way through your career as a prosecutor, magistrate, advocate and now, judge, you disproved your male counterparts' prejudices by simply doing your job. You did your job, no matter what it was, so well that your male colleagues had no other choice but to respect you and after a while even admire you (to their dismay). Everything that you approached, you approached with dignity, wisdom and self-respect. You have taught us to be compassionate and loyal. You have shown us to make the most out of life. Not only have you had a staggering career and incredible family life, but you are and have been an exceptional gardener, interior decorator, clothes maker, arts and antique collector, fitness mogul, chef and so much more. I think the only thing that you have not mastered is how to cut cheese properly or wash dishes. You have also taught us that life isn’t always fair and that it doesn’t owe us anything, you have certainly learnt this the hard way. Life has definitely not always been fair to you. You have had extremely tough years and gone through more tragic experiences than most and yet you have handled yourself with almost inhuman strength. I know you were not always given a choice, but you never let it defeat you. You have had to comfort two very broken children and still keep a household running all whilst having one of the most important jobs in the world. Mom, you truly are a wonder!
You are also a firm believer in humility. You always ensure that we are humble. For example, when I first told you about finishing my degree with distinction you were so incredibly happy for me and proud of me and yet you said: "Wow, my child, you are so smart, it's just a pity that you're so ugly." I repeat… humility. Lots and lots of humility!
You have always made it one of your goals to give us the best memories. You have definitely succeeded in your task. Thank you so much for all your effort in giving us such amazing holidays with so many wonderful memories. For example, when we went to Ireland and you unknowingly asked a Michelin star restaurant whether their food is any good whilst wearing a green Oompa Loompa jacket and a handbag that was literally falling apart. I don’t think we will ever forget the look on the maitre d’s face. You always made sure that we had the best birthday parties growing up. I love watching our home videos of our birthday parties with your voice constantly in the background saying “Ai, ai ,ai!” whenever we did anything remotely cute or impressive. No sporting event, and believe me there were many (many Saturdays watching cricket or rugby or gymnastics), would be complete without your famous extraordinarily quick hand clap.
You have a wicked sense of humour, often having a courtroom, or any room for that matter, in stitches. You have a very special relationship with coffee (or possibly an addiction) and no home visit will be complete without an: "Ash/Mike... doesn't a person get coffee in this house?" You make friends faster than anyone I have ever known. Lately, you have had more of a social life than either Mike or I. You are like a human lighthouse, continuously drawing people towards you. With your intelligence and contagious laugh, it should be no surprise that you are so immensely loved. Once you start laughing, from the bottom of your stomach, there's no way that those around you can help but laugh with you. Mom, as Mike would say, you truly are majestic.
Thank you for everything that you have taught us and for moulding us into the people we are today. Thank you for being patient with us and understanding all our quirks, although I will admit that you might have had to have a little more patience with me in that area. Like my need for naming our antiques, cars and kettles and my absolute insistence on rambling on about feminism and (to your embarrassment) questioning the manager of a restaurant if they still have plastic straws. We honestly cannot imagine our lives without you. Thank you for making your home feel like such a safe space- a true home. Whether it's just a quick drop by for Sunday lunch or a Gilmore Girls marathon, the hours I spend there with you are some of the best hours I have had. Thank you for all the incredible memories. Thank you for being such an amazing daughter to our ouma. I don’t think there is anyone that could take care of ouma the way you do. You have put her needs before your own on a daily basis. No matter how tired you are or how much work you have, you make time for ouma even though it’s not always the most rewarding task. Thank you for the thousand little things that you do for us every day. Thank you for always doing your utmost to ensure that we are happy and have everything we need. Whilst most people are using this time to rest, you are one of the leaders at the forefront, trying to keep our courts running during this pandemic. You have been faced with innumerable challenges, trying to use third-world resources for a first world problem. In many ways, it has been a thankless job, but today, I want to say thank you for everything that you do for the legal profession. Thank you for handling every situation with so much wisdom and empathy. Thank you for all the sacrifices that you have had to make during this time- for putting your life in danger, for giving up your weekends and working late into the night all whilst trying to keep your house standing. We truly are in awe of you and a bit angry seeing as you left us such immense shoes to fill.
As an avid reader, I have a lot of faith in words, however, I fear that in this one area- in trying to explain how much we love you and how grateful we are for everything that you do for us- they might just fail me.
Thank you for being our inspiration, our hero, our best friend, our mom.